آدما ..... آدما یه وزنه رو بلند می کنن، خستگیش که دلشون رو زد می ذارن زمین و یکی دیگه رو بلند می کنند که سبک تره.
اما من هر کدوم رو می ذارم تو کولهم. همینه که می بینی هی کمرم خمتر میشه.
برای سه ساعت به خودم اجازه دادم تو احساساتم غوطه بخورم. تمام درهای دلم رو باز کنم و تو تمام لحظات دردناک زندگیم غرق بشم. گریه کنم. گریه کنم.
توماس واقعا یه دایره المعارف متحرکه. این پسر انقده عمیق فکر می کنه و انقده معلومات داره که آدم همیشه پیشش تبدیل میشه به یه دانش آموز و ترجیح میده فقط گوش بده.
ریشه های آنتی سمیتیزم و مکانیسم دفاعی که باعث ظهور نژادپرستی افراطی بین گروههای اقلیت میشه یکی از موضوعات جالبی بود که امروز بحثش شد. باید بیشتر ببینمش.
ایمیل می زنه می پرسه:
این رزومه رو ببین، انقده از اسم تو خیر دیدم که می خوام شانسم رو با این یکی هم اسمت هم امتحان کنم. ولی یه چیزی اذیتم می کنه:چرا این همه ایرانی کاردرست کشورشون رو ترک می کنن. آیا این با رفتاری که حکومت داره ارتباط داره؟ وقتی ما (کاناداییها) بهشون فرصت اومدن می دیم ضربهی درازمدتی به ایران نمی زنیم؟
خوشحالم که این همه بزرگواره. بعد از دو روز بهش ایمیل می زنم. نظرم رو راجع به رزومه می گم و بعد می گم:
نتونستم جواب خوبی واست پیدا کنم. بازم فکر می کنم شاید بتونم جوابی بدم. ولی الان می تونم این رو بهت بگم که نه! اگه کسی ضربه ای می زنه تو نیستی. تنها چیزی که می تونم بهت بگم اینه که اگه این طرفت از ایران بورس داشت نگیرش. خیلی از ایرانیایی که الان دور و ورت می بینی که تو دانشگاه استاد شدن کثافت هایی بودن که با دورویی اعتماد حکومت و سیستم رو جلب کردن که بیان، پولشون رو گرفتن، زندگیشون رو اینجا روبراه کردن وبعد یه بیلاخ دادن به کشور و برنگشتن.
می گه:
ممنونم از کمکت، حتما می پرسم که بورس دولتی نداشته باشه.
After our first discussion of Lolita, I went to bed excited, thinking about Mitra's question. Why did Lolita or Madame Bovary fill us with so much joy? Was there something wrong with these novels, or with us?-were Flaubert and Nabokov unfeeling brutes? By the next Thursday, I had formulated my thoughts and could not wait to share them with the class.
Nabokov calls every great novel a fairy tale, I said. Well, I would agree. First, let me remind you that fairy tales abound with frightening witches who eat children and wicked stepmothers who poison their beautiful stepdaughters and weak fathers who leave their children behind in forests. But the magic comes from the power of good, that force which tells us we need not give in to the limitations and restrictions imposed on us by McFate, as Nabokov called it. Every fairy tale offers the potential to surpass present limits, so in a sense the fairy tale offers you freedoms that reality denies. In all great works of fiction, regardless of the grim reality they present, there is an affirmation of life against the transience of that life, an essential defiance. This affirmation lies in the way the author takes control of reality by retelling it in his own way, thus creating a new world. Every great work of art, I would declare pompously, is a celebration, an act of insubordination against the betrayals, horrors and infidelities of life. The perfection and beauty of form rebels against the ugliness and shabbiness of the subject matter. This is why we love Madame Bovary and cry for Emma, why we greedily read Lolita as our heart breaks for its small, vulgar, poetic and defiant orphaned heroine.
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Several months into the class, my girls and I discovered that almost every one of us had had at least one nightmare in some form or another in which we either had forgotten to wear our veil or had not worn it, and always in these dreams the dreamer was running, running away. In one, perhaps my own, the dreamer wanted to run but she couldn't: she was rooted to the ground, right outside her front door. She could not turn around, open the door and hide inside. The only one among us who claimed she had never experienced such fear was Nassrin. "I was always afraid of having to lie. You know what they say: to thine own self be true and all that. I believed in that sort of thing," she said with a shrug. "But I have improved," she added as an afterthought. Later, Nima told us that the son of one of his friends, a ten-year-old, had awakened his parents in horror telling them he had been having an "illegal dream." He had been dreaming that he was at the seaside with some men and women who were kissing, and he did not know what to do. He kept repeating to his parents that he was having illegal dreams.
In Invitation to a Beheading, on the wall of Cincinnatus C.'s jail, which is decorated like a third-rate hotel, there are certain instructions for the prisoners, such as: "A prisoner's meekness is a prison's pride." Rule number six, one that lies at the heart of the novel, is: "It is desirable that the inmate should not have dreams at all, or if he does, should immediately himself suppress nocturnal dreams whose context might be incompatible with the condition and status of the prisoner, such as: resplendent landscapes, outings with friends, family dinners, as well as sexual intercourse with persons who in real life and in the waking state would not suffer said individual to come near, which individual will therefore be considered by the law to be guilty of rape." .
Reading Lolita in Tehran
می خوام یه رازی رو بهت بگم. از جایی فهمیدم که یه دنیایی خیلی بزرگتر از دنیایی که تا حالا شناختم منتظرمه که کشفش کنم. دنیایی که فقط با این هدف ساخته شده. وقت زیادی ندارم، حتی یه لحظه رو هم نمیشه تامل کرد.