خسته‌م....

امشب دیدم کریس واسم ایمیل زده که حقوقم رو زیاد کرده. عصبی شدم. نیم ساعتی با خودم کلنجار رفتم و بعد گفتم که نمی خوام.  

این ایمیل کریس: 

Hi Mehrdad,

I nearly missed the January payroll deadline!? Here's what I submitted

for you:

Status: Research Engineer

Period: Jan. 1 to March 31

Salary: $4050 per month

Once you have completed your PhD program (which I expect will happen

before March 31), I can hire you as a post-doctoral research fellow and

give you a raise to $4500 per month. Does this sound okay to you?

Chris 

و این هم جواب من:  

Thanks Chris. I really appreciate but I think I should explain my situation frankly:

I do not expect any raise in my payment. I am still a PhD student and I do not think I deserve it. In addition, I feel that because of some personal circumstances I am not working as well as I should, so having a raise makes me feel guiltier.

In fact, during the last week before holidays, I was very close to come to your office and ask you to not pay me for January because I would not feel well about my outcome and efficency.

I would appreciate if you revise your decision. I think it would be fairer if I stay on the current salary until I officially graduate from my PhD program and, hopefully, solve my problems with myself.

Again thanks. You are so great but I will be much happier if I recieve as much as I believe I deserve. Please do not feel I am rude for this objection.

With the best regards,

Mehrdad

بعدش هم نشستم و گریه کردم. خسته‌م، خیلی خسته‌م....